Empathic Response: The Unseen Superpower
"It is a pisser when you come in connected."
This was my favorite line from my first personal consultation with Tantra Maat in 2015. It captured something fundamental—something I had felt all my adult life but had never been able to name. To be born connected in a world structured for disconnection, is not easy. Indeed, it really can be a pisser.
The Human Design is an Empathic Design
Empathic response is not an anomaly; it is the natural aspect of a being an empathically designed human. The human body is an open, empathic system, constantly receiving, interpreting, and responding to both internal and external stimuli. It is a gift that proves we were meant to live in a world structured for connection and care. In such a world, empathic response would be a superpower—like the Force in Star Wars, we would move in harmony with the field around us, feeling the subtle ripples responding accordinly.
But that is not the dominant paradigm of the world we were born into.
The Water We Swim In: A System Built on Separation
We were born into a structure of reality that largely goes against life. The challenges extend far beyond the workplace. The lack of universal healthcare forces people to choose between financial ruin and medical care. Housing costs continue to rise, leaving many struggling to afford a stable place to live. The burden of student loan debt weighs down entire generations, turning education into a lifelong financial strain. Food insecurity persists, even in a country of abundance. Workplace burnout is normalized, with employees expected to endure exhausting conditions without complaint, all while job insecurity looms over them. Vacation time is minimal, with rest treated as a privilege rather than a necessity. Mental health care remains stigmatized and inaccessible to many. Systemic injustices, from over-policing to mass incarceration, disproportionately harm marginalized communities. Violence against women, minorities, and those identifying beyond the binary gender roles is rampant.
These systems do not nurture life, connection, or well-being. They were not designed to support human flourishing but to uphold an unsustainable cycle of extraction and exhaustion. And yet, we are expected to function within them as though they are inevitable, rather than questioning their very foundations.
In 1992, feminist theologian Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza coined the term kyriarchy to describe the overarching system of power that governs human society. Unlike patriarchy, which specifically refers to male dominance over women, kyriarchy encompasses all hierarchical oppression—capitalism (profit over people), white supremacy (whiteness over others), and colonialism (one culture imposing power over another). It is a web of interconnected systems that reinforce control and disconnection.
Because these systems have been in place for so long, they are mistaken for the natural order. But they are not. A world built on kyriarchy does not prioritize connection. It does not nurture interdependence. Instead, it enforces separation—teaching us to compete rather than collaborate, to harden ourselves rather than soften, to suppress our innate sensitivity rather than embrace it. We are taught to believe that if we struggle, it is because we are failing, not because the system itself is unnatural.
If we were fish, we would not question the water we swim in. It would simply be our world, shaping our every movement. But what if the water was polluted? The fish would not think, Something is wrong with this water. Instead, it would assume, Something is wrong with me. There is a constant struggles against the very element that should nourish it, as the fish remains unaware that it was never meant to live this way.
Sound familiar?
This is the human condition in a world built on separation.
We, too, have been born into waters that do not support our design. The modern world is structured around disconnection, hierarchy, and separation, creating an environment that co-opts the natural empathic response. Instead of flowing with the innate web of connection, we react to the fragmentation around us, internalizing the belief that something within us is broken. But our suffering is not personal failure—it is the body's natural response to an unnatural system.
Reaction vs. Response: The Body as an Empathic System
The body is not separate from the world it moves through. It is constantly receiving information, responding to the environment, adjusting to what is happening around it. But when the world is not in harmony, the body cannot be either.
We do not live in a culture that allows for empathic response—we live in a culture of constant reaction.
Think about when your phone buzzes—do you calmly pick it up, expecting connection and meaningful engagement? Or does your body tense, bracing for bad news, for another demand on your time and energy?
Notice what happens when your phone buzzes. when your phone buzzes—do you calmly pick it up, expecting connection and meaningful engagement? Or does your body tense, bracing for bad news, for another demand on your time and energy?
When you tune into news, is it shared in an objective calm way that merely states what is occurring or does it work hard to trigger your stress response to make you feel like something is wrong. Even the weather forecast now a days is aimed toward emergency. The very structure of our daily lives conditions us into a chronic state of vigilance, a low-level stress that never truly dissipates.
The result? A world where people are chronically exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed—not because they are weak, but because they are living in a reality that does not align with and nurture their innate design.
We are meant to move in rhythm with the life around us, to sense, to respond, to be part of a greater flow. Instead, we are born into a reality shaped by disconnection, hierarchy, and domination—a reality that forces us to suppress our natural responsiveness, to armor ourselves against feeling, and to believe that our struggle is personal rather than systemic.
The Cost of Suppression our Unique and essential design
In the United States, children are subtly and overtly conditioned to conform to societal norms in ways that discourage individuality, intuition, and emotional expression and authenticity. From an early age, they are often expected to prioritize obedience over critical thinking—when they question authority or challenge a rule that doesn’t make sense, they may be labeled as "difficult" or "disrespectful" rather than encouraged to think independently. Creativity is also suppressed in favor of standardization, as children who prefer imaginative play over structured activities are pushed toward rigid academic expectations that prioritize test performance over self-expression. Similarly, strict social norms reinforce outdated gender roles—boys who display nurturing tendencies may be teased for being "too soft," while assertive girls are often called "bossy" instead of being recognized as leaders.
Success is frequently measured by external metrics rather than intrinsic fulfillment. Children who learn differently or thrive in hands-on environments may be unfairly labeled as "struggling" because they don’t fit into standardized educational models that emphasize rote memorization. Likewise, emotional expression is often discouraged rather than supported. Instead of learning to process their emotions in healthy ways, children are told to "stop crying" or "just get over it," pushing them toward suppression rather than self-awareness. Even natural forms of self-expression, such as personal appearance, are controlled through restrictive dress codes that disproportionately target non-traditional gender presentations, cultural attire, or unique hairstyles, reinforcing the notion that standing out is unacceptable.
Our society does not incorporate the ideas of geniuses, Einstein said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world”. However, Imagination, the key to creativity and societal change, is largely damped down.
Empathy is pathologized rather than honored. Sensitivity is dismissed as weakness. Expressed emotions are seen as out of control. Intuition is disregarded in favor of logic. It is painful to recognize that we don’t feel like we belong, to realize that the world does not accept how we feel.
Over time, this suppression takes its toll. So we learn to shut down. Our emotions do not disappear simply because we refuse to acknowledge them. Instead, they burrow deep into our bodies, manifesting as chronic stress, anxiety, and illness. The nervous system remains in a state of hypervigilance, bracing for rejection, dismissal, or punishment.
We wisely armor ourselves against the world, but in doing so, we cut ourselves off from the very thing that makes us vital, the flow of our own innate intelligence and unique expression of selfhood.
But the body remembers. When placed in a reality that does not support its natural design, it protests. It sends signals—anxiety, fatigue, chronic illness, emotional exhaustion. These are not personal failings. They are the body’s way of saying, This system is not sustainable.
But we become experts at ignoring and denial of these messages from our bodies, our bodies that never lie.
We suppress the discomfort in our bodies.
We ignore the tension, the unease in our chest.
We dismiss gut instincts that tell us something is not right.
We numb ourselves to the suffering of the world because it feels too overwhelming to bear.
And rather than recognizing these symptoms as evidence of a world out of alignment, we turn against ourselves. This has been shown in an abused child, that rather than believe the world is unsafe, they internalize that they are deficient, that the hardship in their lives is their own fault.
"I am too sensitive." "I feel too much." "I must not be strong enough to handle this world."
But what if none of these things are true?
What if the pain we experience is not because we are too much—but because the world we live in is not enough?
Re-imagining Ourselves
We are not failing. We are not deficient. Our bodies are doing exactly what they were designed to do—they are trying to survive in a world that does not support life. But there is another way.
It is radical. Revolutionary. Evolutionary?
It is about recognizing that we are not the problem. It is about taking radical steps to pay attention to what you want to see in the world and creating that reality.
My parents created the reality they wanted to see in the world and raised our family within it. It is about mindset and attention and focus. Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh explains:
Your mind is like a piece of land planted with many different kinds of seeds: seeds of joy, peace, mindfulness, understanding, and love; seeds of craving, anger, fear, hate, and forgetfulness. These wholesome and unwholesome seeds are always there, sleeping in the soil of your mind. The quality of your life depends on the seeds you water. If you plant tomato seeds in your gardens, tomatoes will grow. Just so, if you water a seed of peace in your mind, peace will grow. When the seeds of happiness in you are watered, you will become happy. When the seed of anger in you is watered, you will become angry. The seeds that are watered frequently are those that will grow strong.
What if you turned off the TV? Disconnected from social media to create your own norms? Voted with your spending and stopped buying foods and products that contain harmful chemicals not only for your own body, but for the farm workers, and the environment. My parents did it and the old John Prine song Spanish Pipedream was an anthem in my household, “Blow up your TVm throw away your paper, go to the country, build you a home. Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches, try to find Jesus, on your own.
Engage with your culture in a critically thinking way. If you want news, go to an international new source that does not have an opinion on what ways things should go in the US. If you are on social media, learn how to check your sources. You don’t have to put your head in the sand to be happy. Just try to get out of the societal manipulation that occurs to make you feel decificnet, exhausted and sick.
A good rule of thumb is, after you consume a product, whether it be food, drink, media, conversation, etc, do you feel energized or do you feel depleted. Stick on the side of energized. Why? Because you deserve it and your whole life will change if you give yourself a chance to regain balance and nurture unity, connection, and love in your life.
What if you allowed yourself to rest? Remember what my dad said? ‘When you are rested you can move mountains.”
We have many mountains to move to re-establish our empathic response as being a superpower instead of a reaction that causes us to suffer.
Until we can firmly establish global realities of unity, we need to learn how to deal with the issue of empathic response. One way to do that is to learn empathic discernment. Discernment leads to wisdom…. More on that in the next chapter.
But until then, remember:
We are not too sensitive.
The world has simply forgotten how to honor what has always been true.
But we can remember.
And in that remembering, we find our way home.
And believe it or not, that home is your physical human body.
Reclaiming realities of unity.